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I should embrace the chaos.\u000a Leonard Hofstadter: Great! Bet you didn't know that I had bongos.\u000a Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon, it's three o'clock in the morning.\u000a Sheldon Cooper: [sings] Three in the morning is a good time for bongos! \u000a Sheldon Cooper: [sings] Leonard sleeps while I play bongos!\u000a Leonard Hofstadter: No, he doesn't.\u000a Sheldon Cooper: [sings] Leonard no sleep while I play bongos! \u000a[plays wilder]a VPenny: Why did you get bongos?I just want to be part of the conversation.a VPenny: Why don't you go to a movie? \u000a Penny: Yeah.\u000a Sheldon Cooper: What if I choke on my popcorn? \u000a Penny: So, don't buy popcorn.\u000a Sheldon Cooper: No popcorn at the mo - listen to yourself!a VLeonard Hofstadter: I'm glad Penny's dating.We've known each other for a long time now, right?I've taken you to Disneyland, I kicked a bully in the nuts for you, I sing you "Soft Kitty" when you're sick, you've even seen me naked once.\u000a Leonard Hofstadter: I'm sorry, what? Anyway, Sheldon, I promise I know what I'm doing.Um, why don't I start wearing Birkenstocks and seeking validation of my opinions by asking: "Can you dig it? Bareback and barechested...\u000a[pauses]\u000a Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm gonna go brush my teeth, it might take a while.a VPenny: So, if I move my horsey here... \u000a Leonard Hofstadter: [long pause] Hm.\u000a Penny: Well, is it or isn't it? Between you playing chess like Bobby Fischer and Sheldon being okay with you in his spot, I'm guessing someone went back in time, stepped on a bug and changed the course of human events.a VPenny: Sweetie, are you all right? It's been six days since I was supposed to get a haircut.\u000a Leonard Hofstadter: You know, I think this is a good stopping point. it's your first real game, I threw a lot of information at you...\u000a Penny: Uh, no, your king is trapped. And nothing horrible has happened.\u000a Penny: Okay, I'm sorry, I don't understand.\u000a Sheldon Cooper: Leonard, explain it to her.\u000a Leonard Hofstadter: Oh. The world is my oyster.\u000a[hammers his hand at the table]\u000a Sheldon Cooper: I got it.
They're about taking chubby girls who work at Kinkos and lacing them up in corsets so tight their bosom jumps out and says "howdy".\u000a Sheldon Cooper: Bosoms would not have said "howdy" in the Fifteenth Century. "\u000a Howard Wolowitz: I don't care what the bosoms say, Sheldon.\u000a Leonard Hofstadter: Well, there's Joyce Kim, Leslie Winkle...\u000a[pause]\u000a Sheldon Cooper: Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary: the word "plenty" has been redefined to mean "two".a VSheldon Cooper: [Referring to their Renaissance Fair costumes] I fashioned historically accurate undergarments out of linen.\u000a Leonard Hofstadter: You went out and bought linen? I borrowed one of your pillowcases.\u000a Leonard Hofstadter: Borrowed?a VRajesh Koothrappali: I think she's smoking hot.\u000a Howard Wolowitz: I'd hit that!Please let me cut your hair.\u000a Sheldon Cooper: Amy, what do you think?\u000a Amy Farrah Fowler: There's not a hair on my body I wouldn't let this woman trim.a VSheldon Cooper: I have spent my whole life trying to bring order to the universe by carefully planning every moment of every day - but all my efforts: our dinner schedule, my pajama rotation, my bowel movement spreadsheet - it's clear now; I've been wasting my time.\u000a Leonard Hofstadter: Good.